Stop Asking Her When She's Going To Get Pregnant

Why is it that when a woman is married or heck sometimes just engaged or not even dating; she's automatically and sometimes consistently bombarded with this question? Like hello.👋🏻 I wasn't only put on Earth for that soul purpose. Can you ask me anything else?? Ask me what I want out of life or just what's going on next weekend?? I’ve been married for over 7 years now, (we have been together for over 13 years total) so you can imagine how often I've been asked this question.

Why does it bother me so much that women are asked this question?

This is why....

This is such a personal subject for each individual woman. She could be actively trying to conceive and it hasn’t happened for her yet and she cries every time she gets her period. Trust me the last thing she needs is your added pressure. I know women who would love to be mothers. To carry their own child and they cannot get pregnant. They’ve tried everything and it’s just not in the cards for them to carry their own child. I’ve seen beautiful healthy women miscarry and/or lose their child during birth. You could be asking her. I’ve read stories of women who passed away during child birth. (Wow does that terrify the crap out of me.) There are women who for whatever reason do not want children. I know women who have things they want to accomplish before even thinking of starting a family(👈🏻🙋🏼‍♀️)

NONE of the above makes you less of a woman or wife!!!

Now, I’m not saying that I don’t ever want children and I’m not bashing women who want to get pregnant and deliver a bunch of babies. That is the biggest miracle to create a life! Moms are superwomen. I know SO MANY AMAZING MOMS!! AND I know so many amazing women who are not mothers and they are not less than because of that. They are powerful, beautiful, nurturing, smart women, they are making a difference and they are superwomen too!

As a society we need to stop asking such personal questions and assuming that because she is a woman or wife that she has to have a baby or that she has to answer your uncomfortable questions.

As for me and my husband who knows what the future has in store for us. I'm just letting life happen organically. Maybe we’ll find out one random day that we are pregnant (and you can all be terrified with me for the 9 months that follows because the complications that can happen during pregnancy and child birth scare the absolute shit out of me). Maybe one day we will adopt, but it’s not anyone's business other than ours unless I choose to talk to you about it. Just as it’s no ones business except “hers” so stop asking.

So the next time you get the urge to ask a woman something so personal, how about instead you ask “How is life going?” or “How are you doing?” Ask her ”Are you happy?” or “What are your goals and dreams?” because I promise you, she doesn’t want you to ask her when she is going to get pregnant.

XO, Kathleen